Proverbs 26

Proverbs 26:20 "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down."

In Matthew 18, Jesus outlines a pathway for conflict resolution that is direct and keeps the conflict between two people until absolutely necessary. Gossip is the opposite of Jesus' way of conflict resolution. When people gossip, they begin to involve more and more people in the conflict. And the conflict grows, as people begin to build up teams and allies as though they are going to war.

Let's pretend that X and Y are in conflict. X and Y both complain to their spouses about the other, so now X-Spouse resents Y-Spouse. They both tell their friends about how awful the other couple is, and now X-Friends resent Y (and vice versa). Now let's pretend that X and Y make up and are fine with one another. But X-Friends have not had this healing experience and are still in silent conflict with Y (again, and vice versa). Now the conflict monster is bigger than ever and the fire spreads to more and more people, even though X and Y aren't part of it anymore.

Proverbs 26:20 illustrates the need to keep conflict between two people, unless absolutely necessary. It keeps the fires of conflict from raging and destroying, and instead promotes a Christlike community.