Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Relentless

Be Relentless. Such was the motto of this year's M22 Challenge. Everything from promotional materials to t-shirts had this simple two-word motto emblazoned on it. Those two words carried tremendous meaning and urgency. Be- races are part of a lifestyle, more than simply working out. The lifestyle is that of knowledge, diet, exercise, motivation, attitude. Relentless- literally, never turning back. No one turns around in a race. At least, no one turns around on purpose. Relentless means to never give in, never give up and to expend every last ounce of power and strength on achieving the goal. I wanted to be relentless.

Christians have a similar goal ahead of us. Be holy. Old Testament and New Testament alike bear witness to this goal. Be- the Christian life is the synergy of soul, spirit, mind, body, strength. Holy- never give in, never give up and expend every last ounce of power and strength on achieving the goal. Holiness as quiet piety works for many people, and I am not going to undermine that image. It just isn't mine. I think of holiness more and more in terms of being relentless.

Cornel West has a quote (big surprise that I would quote him) which covers holiness for me: "Interrogate your hidden assumptions." I would say the same thing, but add the word relentless: "Relentlessly interrogate your hidden assumptions." Growth never happens until we confront and interrogate our hidden assumptions. In the M22 Challenge, I assumed that I wasn't' in good enough shape to complete (much less compete) the course. Through training and diet, I interrogated that belief and found it false.

In holiness, I find myself interrogating my hidden assumptions constantly. Little phrases like "That'll never change," or "I always do that," need to be regularly held under the close inspection of the Spirit. In relentlessly confronting my own stories, I have found that the areas in my life in which I get "stuck" are not because I suck at life... they are because I believe an assumption and have never tested it.

Every relationship has assumptions. In my marriage, my assumptions were lifted up in the form of vows. In my friendships, in my family, I have assumptions. Sometimes, my assumptions are built out of my values and are quite healthy. Other times, my assumptions are selfish and are created in order to keep my life quiet and manageable.

I believe that there is more to life than "manageable." I believe that God is relentless and that Christ was relentless and that the relentless life is the only one worth living. Hopefully we can discover together the relentless life of God.

Monday, November 26, 2012

There is a Me in We... If you flip one of the letters

Decidedly, Advent is one of my favorite times of year. It holds the mystery of "Christ is coming again" with the certainty of "Christ has come." It has a conspiratorial feel to it, as people think about living differently and the whispers of a different world. I love Advent.

It also comes with a cart-load of cultural baggage. If you read my last post, "What shall we call this spade," you know that I believe that the dominant picture of Christmastime as a consumeristic binge is idolatrous, if not blasphemous. But how to live differently? As I was lifting weights this evening, it occured to me... I need to ban the word "we" from my vocabulary until Christmas Day.

There is a part of me that loves to speak and write for its own sake. It loves to have people's attention and craves to hear the phrase "that's a great point." The word "we" includes you in on my "great point." It makes our struggle a collective one.

It also abdicates responsibility. I can say "we" and mean "you" or "them." We does not always include me. I can talk about "our struggle" and how "we" need to live differently this season, all the while making no plan or no effort to do it in my own life.

And so this season, I think I'm going to try to stop using the word "we" unless I actually mean "we." In a season all about what people should do for me (they should have one of those big-screens for ME, they should work with MY schedule), what if I instead took a stance where I will take responsibility for my actions and put my word to a different kind of Advent season?

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

"What do we call this spade?"

Let's call a spade a spade, shall we?

I worked in retail for about 7 years, a couple of those in a shift manager-type position. I know that the Christmas season is the bread and butter of the retail industry. Managers will be wringing their hands until Christmas Eve, hoping that the numbers will propel them to exist another year.

What's also true about the commercialism of Christmastime is that it is a well-crafted lie. Whereas the hymn says, "The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight," the surrounding world says "The hopes and fears of all the years are on sale tonight." Materialistic Commercialism tells us that our hopes are made true and our fears can be satisfied by the acquisition of goods and services. It is also the hope of our economy and the hope of our nation- only by spending ourselves into debt can we keep our economy afloat and our nation in prominent standing in the world. Don't believe me? Watch the news in a week.

Let's call a spade a spade, shall we?

The celebration of Christmastime in the United States is idolatry.

Idols are gods who cannot live without our active participation. Consider 1 Samuel 5, where the priests of Dagon continue to prop up an idol that is defenseless against God's holiness. Or Isaiah 57:13 "When you cry out for help, let your collection of idols save you! The wind will carry all of them off, a mere breath will blow them away."

I recognize that, if we altered our patterns and rejected the consumerism, it would cost people their jobs. I recognize that our fragile retail economy rests on the fear of commercial apocalypse. I also recognize that we are being sold a false bill of goods which we know is false. But we are afraid to do anything different because of the very real impact.

So let's at least admit it. Let's admit that we are being sold oceanfront property in Montana (that is, we are being sold a lie). Let's admit that we are spending ourselves into oblivion and depression. Let's admit that the fear of living differently drives us. Let's call a spade a spade.

Then... let's dream of something different.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

What Next?

The Church is inherently political- don't stop reading! When I say political, I don't mean partisan, nor do I mean that the Church is wedded to the values of a democratic republic. We are not a political party, nor do we seek political power. But we are political.

The Church, at her finest, takes very seriously these words from James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." In other words, the Church recognizes that the Gospel is an inward (free from pollution) and outward (caring for those on the margins) reality.

The Gospel is a perfect wedding of spiritual reality (Read the Beatitudes in Matthew) and social relationships (Read the Beatitudes in Luke). The Gospel proclaims that there is a new Kingdom here and coming in its fullness. Kingdoms are political entities. We care about real people living in real situations, and so we are inevitably drawn to politics.

Last night, people were disappointed and elated across the United States. Some fell quickly into the melancholy of resentment and others catapulted into the jubilation of a victory lap. Others did both. Others went to bed. Everyone woke up this morning to find that the world is still in desperate need of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5).

So what next? These words are for those encouraged and those discouraged by the election: It's time for a new and broader imagination. Our job in the Church is not done at the election. It's never done. Our work will always be before us- Christ even told us that the poor would always be among us, even while Deuteronomy bears the bold command that there ought to be no one poor among us. That job still stands before us, and encourages us to a greater imagination than we have had.

Political partisanship has encouraged division which Christ has torn down in His crucified and risen body. It has limited our vision to "our guy winning" and generated either anger or apathy. We can do better. Let's take some time to catch our breath, to reconcile where reconciliation is needed, and be reminded of these words from Jesus: "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all I have commanded you. And I will be with you, even to the ends of the earth."

Friday, October 12, 2012

The Bible: The Answer-Book?

For those who watched the Vice Presidential debate last night, there was a pretty cool moment at the end. The candidates, both practicing and devout Roman Catholics, were asked to speak about their faith and how it impacted them. And they did. They were passionate, they were articulate and they had respect for the Roman Catholic hierarchy. They also got off-track onto politicking, but it's a debate... we ought to expect that. But at the end of the day, I truly believe that both of them are living out of their faith.

Here's the thing... they disagree about what that means. And that's okay. They both turn to resources outside of the Bible to help them create policy. And that's okay, too. You do it, too.

When I was introduced to the Bible, I was told that it was an answer book that contained within it the answer to life's every question. And I believed it, and even told my friends that the Bible had all the answers.

It doesn't. The Bible doesn't intend to give us all the answers. It "merely" serves to introduce us to the One who has all the answers. The Bible is a story of what God has done on our behalf and of the kind of people God is forming us to be. What it doesn't do is answer every question we have about life. And it doesn't necessarily say how a Vice President should exercise authority in a democratic republic.

And this is good news to me. In my best days, I want more out of life than the right answers. After 6 years of academic life, I hope that life is more than the right answers. I want connection. I want to know God. Certainly, with knowing God comes wisdom, but God seems primarily concerned with that connection, then filling me with wisdom. This means that, more than occasionally, I will have a disagreement with another wisdom-seeking Christian about matters in life. And in some circumstances, we may both be right. Wisdom is contextual, and what is wise in my context may not be wise in yours.

Another unintended consequence of the "answer book" mentality is that Scripture becomes a weapon to fight. And so verses are prioritized (in my tribe of being Reformed, generally: Pauline epistles > Non-Pauline epistles > Gospels > Proverbs > Rest of Old Testament > Revelation) and counted numerically in order to determine relative worth in verbal combat. Eventually, the Bible becomes more about being right than being holy.

And I guess that's where I hope we can find a better way. A way where we seek God, recognize that we may disagree, and seek wisdom together.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

What I Wish I Never Would Have Asked For... Maybe.

Not too long ago, I wrote on the question "What Keeps You Awake at Night?" That question has not left me since. Even while planning the fall and winter worship services in our congregation, the idea of "Awake at Night" came up again in terms of our Christmas Eve service. It seems as though God wants this idea to percolate for a while.

But here's the thing... being kept awake at night is romantic in theory, but not so much fun in reality. I like my sleep. I want 8 hours, generally, every night. But I also sing songs of praise that invite God to give me "A Heart Like Yours" and to "Open the Eyes of My Heart." Now that I have asked the question... do I really want the answer?

For two or three weeks, I have lost hours of sleep. I have wrestled, and (nearly) wept, and gotten up to walk around. I wish I could blame caffeine or something, but the reality is that I can't. My caffeine consumption hasn't changed that much. But what has changed is that I am getting a bigger picture of what God wants to do, and I am in the Isaiah place of realizing that I can't possibly do it.

Staying awake at night has helped me have a heart like God's, a heart that breaks for the lost and demystifies the obstacles facing the Shalom Kingdom of Christ, but it also helps me face the obstacles sitting in me that keep me from becoming the person Christ wants me to be. Wrestling at night alternates between wrestling with God, wrestling with anxiety and wrestling with myself. Christ is shaping me to be a person with the capacity to face some of these big issues, but my fear of rejection, my guilt over mistakes and my shameful "I'm not good enough" stand in the way. And so, in these deep moments, I feel like Isaiah... but different. God asks "Who will go for us?" and I answer "It can't be me, I don't know how to do it!"

I long for the cleansing touch of the coals to my mouth. I long for the instantaneous sensation of being made "ready." But the Holy Spirit doesn't offer that to everyone, and I don't always have it. What I do have the still small voice that reminds me that I am a child of God, a member of a royal priesthood, empowered by the Spirit to face whatever God calls me to face, and not alone. And that still small voice knows that I cannot go without "slumber or sleep" (Psalm 121), and beckons me to that safe place of "Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest." Maybe I'll never understand that God who gives rest and keeps me up all night, but I'm sure not running away.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Greater

"May your God make Solomon’s name more famous than yours and his throne greater than yours!" - 1 Kings 1:47

According to 1 Kings 1, people congratulated David with this blessing. "I hope Solomon is greater than you," they essentially say. Allow me to confess my surprise when I read that this was considered "congratulations."

I'm sure that many parents can totally understand this blessing, since I have heard parents say that they hope that their children accomplish more than they have. I am not a parent and so I do not understand that feeling. But that doesn't mean I don't already think about things like legacy and how I am remembered.

The blessing given to David is that the seeds he planted grow into harvest under someone else's reign. Someone else will get the credit/reward for what David did. This is a valuable perspective to have, and I want it to be mine. The reality is that we are all preparing the earth for the next generation. We will leave our worksites, our families and our neighborhoods for someone else to take over. And I want it to be better.

So who are you preparing your world for?

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Jesus' Wife, History and Reactivity

Sensational Headline: "Was Jesus really Married?"

Reality Underwriting Sensational Headline: A fragment of a document was discovered that dates to the 2nd-4th century and reports Jesus referring to His wife. (Click here for the story)

Dr. Karen King, a professor at Harvard Divinity School, recently released a report that the aforementioned document references Jesus' wife and her status in the Church. This wife is assumed to be Mary by those who believe that Christ was married.

A few things:

1) This document is at least two hundred years younger than any New Testament document (despite King's claim that the document is later 2nd century). Even if it is 2nd century, that dates later than the New Testament by at lest 80-90 years. Considering the timeframe of the earliest-latest writings in the NT is about a century, those years are significant. By the time this was written, theologians were already talking about the four canonical Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John).

2) This document lends itself to Gnosticism, an ancient religion which used Christianity as a foundation, but was heartily and widely rejected as contrary to the Gospel.

3) This document is terribly, terribly incomplete. The "wife" statement in it is an incomplete sentence. We actually can't pull any meaning out of the fragment.

4) And here's the big one... Christians, chill out. Please.

Church, we do not need to be governed by fear. It does us no good to attack the character of Dr. King, especially since she was contacted to translate this fragment by someone else. And I have seen enough attacks online regarding Dr. King and her research to know that we as the Church really need to chill out.

Church, we do not need to be governed by fear. We should be the first to embrace the translating of this ancient text. It gives us context to the rich tapestry of spirituality in the ancient world, and helps us understand the context of the Church's teaching. We also live in a rich tapestry of spirituality in the 21st century, and we are called to grapple with the teachings around us. It's bad enough that we (Christians) are considered anti-knowledge and anti-learning by the rest of the world. We do not need to make it worse by actually rejecting centuries-old documents as a modern liberal plot to destabilize evangelical Christianity.

Church, we can be governed by hope. I am so glad this document was released. It opens the conversation on our history, on the importance of understanding and appreciating our past, on the relationship of sexuality and gender to spirituality and other crucial topics. However, as long as we are governed by fear, there will continue to be an us-them/ally-enemy spirit in our assemblies. Developmental psychologists tell us that us-them thinking is critical to adolescence, but is meant to become nuanced in adulthood. Thus, I must request that we grow up. Let's talk, and more importantly, let's listen. Let's let the facts come out before we make judgments. Let's appreciatively hear what people are devoting their lives to, and then speak the truth in love in the midst of it all. The acts of lowering our reactivity and listening before speaking, both Biblical claims on our discipleship, may just grant us Gospel opportunities. Grace and peace be with you all.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I Really Shouldn't Say Anything...

Some days it is hard to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and not say "Hypocrite." Seriously. Monday mornings are the worst.

You see, I'm a pastor. People pay me money to stand in front of them and tell the old, old story what it means to be a community of followers of Christ. Often, this means painting pictures of areas in which change or transformation is required. Let's face it- following Christ is not terribly simple. And so, week after week (and fill in the multiple conversations I have weekly on the same topic) I do this thing.

So where does the "hypocrite" come in? I give impassioned sermons on the importance of doing justice, loving mercy and walking humbly with God. Meanwhile, I participate (knowingly) in systems which perpetuate injustice, I prefer grudges to mercy and have been known to pass up time with God because the newest episode of Hell on Wheels is on Netflix.

It is too common in which I work on a sermon, and in the midst of working on it, I find out that I may be the person who needs the sermon the most. Frankly, this feeling gets old. I plan on being a pastor for a long, long time. I have a lot of sermons, and a lot of Monday mornings where I will see myself in the mirror, to go.

So what do I do? Should I stop saying things unless I have personally mastered them? Maybe, but my sermons would be limited to the freeing power of sarcasm and understanding the power of your voice. Good stuff, but not quite the full counsel of God.

Do I try to drop the title of hypocrite? I could. After all, I am pretty hard on myself. Maybe my standards are just too high. Maybe I bring them down and just accept that I am who I am. I've been there. It feels good... until I recognize that my low standards help me sleep at night but they feel empty.

Perhaps I need a third option. I'm not going to stop telling the ancient tale of a follower of Christ. I'm not going to stop painting a picture in which I am not currently living. I will probably continue to preach to myself for the rest of my career. And what I will do is be honest. I will tell the story of being a follower of Christ and wrestle alongside you to live into that day by day. I will rejoice with you when I choose justice over apathy, mercy over bitterness and humility over pride. And I will rejoice with you when you do the same.

I acknowledge that I am a hypocrite, but at least I am one in recovery... just like all of us. So what do you say, shall we wrestle together?

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Lost in Translation

For one semester in college, my uninterrupted journey from high school to pastoring faced its first interruption. I was wooed by the romantic world of Bible translation. I was enthralled by the idea of going to faraway places and helping to deliver God's Word to them, particularly in languages that no one else knew. One group, a tribe in Northern Africa, only had 1500 people speaking their language. But that was 1500 people without the Bible, without the Gospel.

I also love languages. I love how they work. I love how they teach us about how human beings think and how societies are structured. Language and culture are two sides of the same coin, and the more we understand language, the more we understand a culture. I wanted to become a translator.

As I write this, I am not translating the Bible in a far off area. I am sitting in Northern MI in a pastor's office. But I still think I am a Bible translator.

We are all translators in one way or another. I am amazed at how quickly people translate words into full-blown concepts, irrationally holding onto the idea that one word has one meaning.

For example, I just read a great article by Tim Keller on Biblical justice. Some of the first comments were not about the article, but about how America is turning into a "welfare state" (government assistance was never mentioned in the article). Justice, it seems, translated to a particular government program. I wish someone told that to Amos before he promised that justice would come like a flowing stream.

Mis-translation shuts down conversation. It has the ability to keep people from truly communicating. Narrow translation creates an environment where I can dismiss you and figure out what you're going to say before you say it. And if you say the same thing I do, but a little bit differently, I have the power to still declare you ignorant and wrong.

Where mis-translation is one of the great sins of our society, proper translation is one of the greatest blessings. Proper translation is a hallmark of good listening. Proper translation is when I hear someone speak, and instead of putting it through all my fancy filters of "right and wrong," I simply let their idea hit the table so that we can all play with it. And I can summarize what you say without adding my own agree/disagree to it.

The capacity to listen and translate well, in my opinion, is one of the highest marks of spiritual maturity. I wonder what the impact would be if a few people in your church, your neighborhood or your town were able to listen well. I wonder what the world would look like if we had a few less commentators and a few more translators. Maybe it would look a little more like the Kingdom of God.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Will this end in bitterness?

Bitterness- what a word that evokes such despair! Bitterness is the deep hole dug by resentment and rage. Bitterness is the paralysis that comes when melancholy overcomes our energy to fight on. Bitterness makes me reactive, it shortens my fuse and makes me ready to fight.

In 2 Samuel 2, the followers of Saul and the followers of David meet for a fight. After the first group stab each other to death, the followers all jump into the fray. Asahel, a particularly fast runner, chases down Saul's former general Abner, who tries to ward off the young warrior. When it is clear that Asahel will not stop, Abner tries to stop him by thrusting the blunt end of his spear into Asahel's stomach. This attack should have left Asahel reeling but very well alive. However, Asahel is moving too fast and Abner is too strong. The spear kills Asahel. Many have already died, but Asahel's death sets David's followers off. They chase down Abner, who begs for mercy "Must the sword devour forever? Don’t you realize that this will end in bitterness? How long before you order your men to stop pursuing their fellow Israelites?"

Joab, David's general, gets his wits about him and orders an end to the battle. The deal is settled... or is it? Abner eventually leaves Saul's family and joins David. David gives him amnesty and declares his past sin's forgiven. But David wasn't there when Asahel died. Joab was, and stabs Abner in the belly. The sword continues to devour. Bitterness is the end.

What is frightening about this passage is just how real it is. You can picture the screenplay of this story, and can understand the rage and anger.

What is more frightening about this passage is that God is hardly mentioned. As long as God is absent, the bitterness continues and becomes murderous. It is no surprise that Jesus tells the crowd at the Sermon on the Mount that bitter anger is related to murder- unchecked rage becomes bitterness, and bitterness makes us violent (if not physically, certainly verbally).

I pray for healing to my bitterness, that God's grace will wash away my bitterness and enable me to be free from it.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Up at Night

I love asking good questions. I love questions that provoke the truth, questions which leave the Holy Spirit plenty of room to bring some level of insight. One question came from a pastor friend of mine... "What keeps you up at night?"

What a great question! And I yearn to ask that question to people. That question says so much about what we value, where our broken edges rub raw our tender souls and where lies confront reality with our minds as the battleground. What keeps you up at night?

Then someone asked me that question. And I had a pretty sweet response cooked up, derived from Alan Hirsch's "Faith of Leap." I was going to say "The fact that Christ gave us a mission 2000 years ago and we are far from completing it," or "We are supposed to care for the orphan and widow, and both groups are still yearning."

But none of those things keep me awake at night. I sleep quite comfortably most nights, actually. And so I didn't give my ideal answer... because it wasn't true. That might be what ought to keep me up, what I want to keep me up, but it isn't what keeps me up at night.

What keeps me awake at night are details that are out of my control. I get so worried about how people will respond to stuff that isn't even my responsibility. I get worried that to be known precludes being loved. I worry that my past actions will erase a Godly future. In other words, I stay awake at night because of me.

Psalm 6 gives us a glimpse of David in an "up at night" moment: "I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes."

Psalm 6 is a cry for deliverance from enemies, as well as a cry for forgiveness. It opens with David dealing with his own brokenness, then realizing that there is a very true danger out there (once he gets his "baggage" out of the way).

When I think about it, I want to be up at night. I want a pillow soaked with tears and a heart that yearns for shalom where there only seems to be disorder. What I don't want is to have my heart so burdened with imaginary fears and unchecked anxiety that I can't think about Christ's mission of reconciliation to the world.

What does this mean? As for me, it means that I want my prayer life to be an arena for my absurdities, my guilt and my shame to go toe-to-toe with the cross of Jesus, where they will be handily defeated. From there, God and I can get down to business and talk about a suffering world that needs hope. I don't know, that might keep me up all night.

What keeps you up at night?

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Who Wrote the Rules?

Does anyone else have outrage fatigue? I'm honestly tired of being upset. It's hard to get my outrage meter above empty nowadays. Every day seems to bring its own outrage. The outrage de jour is Chick-fil-A. If you are for LGBTQ rights, then you are supposed to be outraged at Chick-fil-A. If you aren't, then you are supposed to be outraged at people who are outraged at Chick-fil-A. Or maybe you want to go back to Aurora, CO, where the gun control debate fired up on all cylinders before the victims of the shooting were even buried. The rush to judgment was faster than Missy Franklin's record-breaking swim at the Olympic Games this year. And so... I have outrage fatigue. Which is too bad, really.

There is much more to be outraged at. I continue to bump up against the reality of hurting and suffering people. Friends of mine are bearing the weight of incredibly hard circumstances. Other friends of mine struggle to find meaning in a world that increasingly denies meaning. Yet other friends of mine woke up this morning to find that their bodies have deteriorated, their memories have dulled, and their homes will see only loneliness today.

Somewhere, a friend of mine is going to be made fun of, in particulars or generalities, because of his sexual orientation. Somewhere, someone is going to laugh off people of my generation because "we don't care." Somewhere, someone in my generation is going to blow off the wisdom of an elder because "they are irrelevant." Somewhere a friend of mine is going to curse his failing body because it keeps him from feeling productive in a society that demands men to be productive and busy until the moment they die. Somewhere a friend of mine is going to stare at a wedding ring that doesn't hold the same delight it once did, wondering where it all went wrong.

If I have learned anything in my short ministerial career (and I have... lots, in fact), it's that the struggle for God's justice on earth will not be won by my irritation at the news. It won't be won with me posting articles or even this blog post. It will be won when I set the laptop down and sit before the Lord in prayer. It will be won when I tell my neighbor that "gay" is not a synonym for "unfortunate." It will be won when my outrage fuels my compassion.

Outrage is a powerful force. Powerful enough to pick up a cross, powerful enough to stand in the gaps, powerful enough to spark a holy fire to seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.

Friday, July 27, 2012

It's a Conspiracy!

I have a confession to make. I love conspiracy theories. I believe very few of them, but I love a good conspiracy. And in times of war, economic distress and social disorder, conspiracy theories are easy to come by. In many ways, I envy conspiracy theorists. If anything, conspiracy theories make everything make sense. There are a handful of villains controlling everything, and it is their involvement in world affairs that have led us to this point. And I love to read them, watch movies about them, even check out the History Channel specials about them. It just seems so simple!

It does not surprise me that religious folks can be sucked into conspiratorial thinking. Consider the power of the Left Behind series to take conspiracy theories and attribute them to Satan or antichrist (including RFID chips and the like). Conspiratorial thinking requires us to believe in unseen power and to believe that there is an agenda going on. Theology proper requires us to believe in unseen power and to believe that God has an agenda going on. This is why the prophecies of the Old Testament and Revelation become fodder for modern-day conspiracy theorists.

If there is one thing that conspiracy theorists get right is that they generally understand the nature of power. They understand that human beings seek power over others (a condition leading back to Genesis 3), and that power is a corrupting force. Very few conspiracy theories believe that "they" (the people really in power) are benevolent. The psalms even decry this reality- "Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain?" (Psalm 2:1). Psalm 2 was even appropriated by the Church to describe the adversarial relationship the disciples had with the religious leadership of the day (Acts 4:23-30).

The power of a conspiracy theory is simple- it causes fear. Conspiracy theories cause us to be afraid of the secret few running the world, the growth in power, the devil using democracy or whatever the theory is based on. And people's decisions can be easily managed by fear- our culture's response to fear is usually to buy distracting things.

But Isaiah 8 speaks into our tough reality with some warning words: "Do not call conspiracy everything this people calls a conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it" (Isaiah 8:12). Okay, so don't be afraid. Why not? Isaiah continues, "The LORD Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread" (Isaiah 8:13). I don't think that this means we should walk around looking up to heaven, scared of the day God will strike us down. I think that this means that God is the One who is ultimately in control. Jesus is Lord, ultimately, and it is Christ on the throne. The power that is guiding the world toward shalom (peace) is a benevolent one indeed, and one who subverts our human attempts at power and shows a different way- a way of service, of love, of compassion. It is no surprise that power structures have typically resisted the Kingdom of God- it operates differently. And so may we operate differently in our lives and resist fear.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Philanekia- Hot Button Issues

"A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest." - Luke 22:24

Way to miss the point, fellas. Luke 22 begins with the dramatic telling of God's story through the Passover, and Jesus even lays Himself out on the table by telling the disciples what was about to take place. And as soon as He does that, a fight breaks out over who is the best.

We would be remiss to believe that the dispute was a fluke. The Greek word for "dispute" is a tough one to translate into English. The word is "philanekia"- a love for arguing (or desire to argue). The way I translate Luke 22:24 is this way: "This (talking about who would betray Jesus) was a hot button issue- who was the greatest."

Nowadays, what isn't a hot button issue? And don't all hot button issues ultimately come down to who is the greatest? Hot button issues, whether political or relational or theological/philosophical, all find their source in "who is the greatest? Who do I follow? Who has the better opinion?"

Jesus comes down decisively to end all debate. But Jesus does not answer the question of who sits by His side in the Kingdom (even Revelation leaves that question up in the air). Jesus comes down decisively to tell His disciples to be different. Roman leaders called themselves "Benefactors" while oppressing and exploiting the people. Labels are generally useless and usually end in self-serving power (see yesterday's post on authority). What Jesus wants from the disciples is servant-hearts that cast aside labels to genuinely help people.

Listening is one of the most powerful tools to serve. Listening declares the worth of the one you are listening too, and declares that the person speaking has some respect and standing in your mind. Listening, and not simply waiting for your turn to speak, actually empowers the mind to be transformed (and doesn't Paul say in Romans that we are all being renewed in our mind?). But when we get set-off emotionally on a hot-button issue, when philanekia rises in our spirit, our ability to think, process and listen reflectively is diminished.

I pray that Jesus cuts in on my philanekia so that I can have a Christlike and servant heart. It's the only way I know how to love my neighbor as myself.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Getting It Wrong... and Right (and everything in between) On Authority

"The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the law." - Mark 1:22

"The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves." - Jesus, Luke 22:25-26

"Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground. - God, Genesis 1:28

"Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." - God, Genesis 3:16

It is no wonder that the issue of power and authority is so messed up. Jesus teaches with authority, and tells His disciples to be different. Human beings were created with authority in creation, but the Fall added a dynamic where human relationships were going to be sinfully immersed in power struggles.

Add these passages to others about apostolic authority, church leadership, and you get a challenging way forward in areas of leadership and faithfulness in our spheres of influence. What does it mean to lead? What does it mean to serve?

Then add our own cultural biases. We may be a democracy, but Western thought was born in monarchy, and many monarchy-based paradigms still exist. One key element to a debate is to appeal to an authority; in other words, we quote sources. I couldn't write a paper in college or seminary without quoting other works. On facebook, one can click a single button and share sources with their online community (the "share" button).

I don't have a problem with authority, most of the time. But I am also in a place to be benefited by authority. I have cultural authority (a title and a degree), religious authority (ordination) and the unheard of authority to talk to a group of adults for 30 minutes a week without interruption. Not even CNN can boast 30 minutes, they have advertisers who break in.

Having authority is a scary thing, when you think about it. It is awfully easy to arrange my authority to benefit me. It is easy for me to get my needs met and forget about the rest of the population. I don't think Jesus had that model of authority in mind when He taught with authority. I think that's what Jesus had in mind when He said "Don't be like that." Jeremiah talks about authority gone amok in this way:

"A horrible and shocking thing has happened in the land: The prophets prophesy lies, the priests rule by their own authority, and my people love it this way. But what will you do in the end?" - Jeremiah 5:30-31

When we forget that our authority is meant to be used on behalf of the least, that last, the lost and the marginalized (see Luke 22 passage), we end up serving ourselves. We devise lies that hold a comfortable status quo and we forget that we derive all authority from a God who is constantly on the move reconciling ALL THINGS (Colossians 1:20) to Himself. Allow me to leave you with this quote that I think represents the best of what God-given authority does:

"If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference then we don't want successful leaders. We want great leaders - who love the people enough and respect the people enough to be unsought, unbound, unafraid and unintimidated to tell the truth." - Dr. Cornel West, Christian philosopher and activist.

Biblical authority is not about being successful, it's about being great.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Bad Form... Revisited

The other day I was trying to expand my running, and so I ran on a trail recommended to me. That trail was Echo Valley Road, which I learned is one of the rockiest trails on the planet. Not good for a barefoot runner.

By the end of the "run," I was hurting. Not only have my feet been beat up for days, but my knees were hurting for a day. That bothered me, since barefoot running is supposed to be easier on the knees. What it turned out to be is that I started running with terrible form, allowing for a ton of lateral movement in my knees in order to dodge the larger rocks. I could hardly walk the next day. In other words, my hurt created my bad form.

A couple Sundays ago, we visited the idea that human beings were designed to live in certain kinds of ways. Sin is what we call it when we operate outside of those ways, hurting ourselves and others. But where does bad form come from?

Bad form comes from being hurt, or wounded. As human beings post-Genesis 3, we are all born wounded. We are born with the inherent desire to get our needs met, and sin corrupts that desire to aim for less than what we were designed for. Also, people we meet deepen the wounds and we find ourselves living further and further out of our woundedness.

Sometimes we skip the idea of woundedness, skipping to the instructions on how to stop doing bad things. And those instructions are good- we need them, just as a runner needs to be instructed on how to run and run well. But let's not skip the first part.

We need a healer. We need someone who is going to make us whole and get us back to walking before we can re-learn how to run. The Greek word for salvation is the same as the word for healing.

Jesus tells a parable to the Pharisees about a lost sheep, and how He will go after the lost sheep. What sometimes gets missed is how a sheep gets lost in the first place. Sheep may be dumb, but they are always together. It's why we use the term "sheep" to describe a mob that can't think for itself. The only reason a sheep would get lost and lonely is because it is hurt.

Jesus is the great healer. And today, I am grateful.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Be Prepared

"So they prepared the Passover" (Luke 22:13).

I will be the first to admit that I don't prepare well. I usually forget something when I pack for a trip, I don't make lists of any kind and I generally procrastinate. "Prepared" is not an adjective I would use to describe me. The Boy Scouts of America's official motto is "Be Prepared," but being a boy scout for a few years did not instill me with a love for preparation.

And yet, there is something stirring in this little verse in Luke 22:13 on preparing the Passover. This year, at our church, we celebrated the Passover meal together with a couple other churches. And as I prepared the Passover, I thought about what each element would mean. I thought about the charoset and its sweet goodness, which was to symbolize the sweetness of God's gifts. Even the process of making it was fun and full of laughter.

Then there came the horseradish and the salt water and the bitter herbs. Although I love horseradish, the salt water and bitter herbs were a bit much. And laying them out while filling small dishes with salt, I recognized that people would not enjoy eating these foods. Then again, life is sometimes like that, we are fed meals we would prefer not to eat. Or as Jesus said, we are given cups from which we would rather not drink.

Preparing for the Passover is a meaningful time. And I think we are meant to have meaningful time in our lives- times where we step back and really think about what is going on around us. The first two weeks of June have flown by, and summer will probably see more of that hurried pace. But maybe, just as the disciples contemplated each piece of the Passover meal, we too can take on a reflective pace to see all the good that God is doing around us.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The edge of understanding

Over the past couple weeks, I spent about five days teaching World Religions at Glen Lake Middle School, and I feel some sense of loss now that I am done with my time. In fact, the students are taking a test on the information I gave them today. I wish them all the best and hope that the test-taking allows them to internalize the stuff they learned.

So why would a pastor be sharing about Islam, Christianity and Judaism in a school?

I came across a Proverb this morning that really puts things in perspective: "The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding" (Proverbs 4:7).

We have a duty to get understanding. Part of loving our neighbor as ourselves means knowing people as we would wish to be known. A few posts ago, I posted about how disgusted I was when a pastor preached about locking gay people behind electrified fences, and how sad I was that the video went viral. I am saddened when the way of Christ is equated to that kind of hatred. And so I would be horrified if that was someone's first experience of Christianity. In the same way, if I want to love my neighbor, I have a responsibility to learn about how my neighbor truly thinks.

I have to admit, I got a little preachy in the class. A student asked how long it takes to learn about other people's religions. I gave the standard answer of how long it took to get my degree, then I backtracked. My final answer was "forever." The students groaned at the possibility of learning forever (especially during the last week of class), but I stuck with it.

I told them that we all have a line where our understanding turns to ignorance. In other words, I don't know everything. I don't understand everything. And the sad reality is that when I harbor ignorance toward my neighbor, it usually expresses itself in mistrust. And mistrust, as we see in the interpersonal and the international spheres, often ends in violence. And so the lifelong dedication to understanding is the only cure for the bitter root of ignorance to set in and make us less than we could be.

Proverbs 4:7 says that even if it costs everything we have, we ought to pursue understanding. It sounds a lot like a guy who said "Take up your cross daily and follow me." So today, chase wisdom and understanding, and may God bless you in your journey.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

In the Secret

When I was in high school, we were seeing the explosion of the contemporary worship scene. Groups like Delirious, SonicFlood and David Crowder were joining the Hillsong and Maranatha communities in producing several worship albums a year. Incorporating contemporary music into our youth worship services was not difficult. One of those songs was called "In the Secret." The lyrics start as following:

"In the secret in the quiet place
In the stillness you are there
In the secret in the quiet hour
I wait only for you
'cause i want to know you more..."

I loved that song. I've always been imaginative, and knowing that God and I can meet in the secret and quiet place was comforting. Now I look at that song and inwardly shudder. Not because it's a bad song- it's still a great plea for nearness to God. I shudder because I know the secret place is not as rosy as it looks.

In the past twelve months, I have become far more aware of the secret place in my mind. It's the place where a confident exterior meets a terrified interior. The secret place is the gray area where I don't know if I'm doing something because it's the right thing to do or because it will make me look good.

David had a lot of things going against him, but he had this- he invited God right into the secret place. Psalm 139 is a beautiful psalm about knowing God, and it has some of the most contemptible language of the Bible:

You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand —
when I awake, I am still with you.

If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

After reading this psalm, it's a little easier and a little more meaningful to sing "In the Secret." Although I am not always proud of what goes on in my doubts and weaknesses, God doesn't stand at a distance judging. God stands right in it leading me in the way everlasting.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

I Matter!

I have a group that meets on Wednesday nights to talk about God and spiritual things while taking advantage of the Hayloft's cheap taco night. The group is therefore called "Taco Theology," and they regularly expand my thinking outside of my narrow confines. The group has three rules: "All perspectives welcome," "Keep it civil" and "Tip well." I find that, as our friendships deepen, the second rule has faded into "duh" territory, and the first rule is foundational for our existence. I don't really police the third rule.

Our conversation this week was "Why do people pray?" Our conversation quickly moved into technology and social media as communication. At first glance, it seems like we were off-task, but the thoughts that kept moving into my brain were connecting prayer with Facebook and Twitter. Finally, the last piece clicked and the group inspired me to a new and deeper place.

I matter.

What Facebook offers me is the chance to matter. I have a quantity of friends that can be measured. I have a quantity of "likes" and comments to the things I post. I can see what happens on other people's postings as well to measure myself against them (we all do it...). Twitter is even more aligned to calculate my "mattering." I collect followers and watch my statements turn to trends. Hotels in Las Vegas even have a 24-hr live feed of people's "tweets" about their hotels. My opinion matters. I matter.

In the midst of all this, I couldn't keep it in anymore, and I blurted a short sermon (sorry guys and gals) that ended with "I matter!" Prayer is the declaration that I matter. I matter to God. What I want matters to God. This reality is not prideful, it's humbling. Consider the words of Psalm 8:

"When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?

You have made them a little lower than the angels
and crowned them with glory and honor."

In other words... Wow. I matter. You matter. In God's eyes, although God sees the majestic universe, you matter. God is mindful of you. It can be a challenge to consider this "mattering" in the face of an increasingly quantified mattering found in the opinion sections of newspapers, polls and Facebook. But when I consider how I matter before the throne of God, I wonder if I put too much of my identity in how many clicks I get. Maybe my identity is best found in Psalm 8, standing before God and saying "I matter."

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Everything I Love About Summer

Memorial Day weekend this year was nothing short of amazing. It included everything I love about summer. I was able to run, bike and kayak in the best environments God has to offer. And while my bike was sometimes an effort to just keep the wheels moving, my run was more of a climb and the kayak was sometimes a fight against the wind and waves, there were also moments of pure exhilaration. But nature was not always so welcoming this weekend, as an incredible thunderstorm thundered through the area with intensity and power. This I also love about summer. Psalm 19:1 imprints itself once again on my mind: "The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of his hands."

Beyond the weather and the outside activity, I love how summer encourages us to intentionally enjoy each other's company. I was rarely alone the whole weekend. When I kayaked, it was with a friend. Three of the four nights of Memorial Day were spent with friends. Sunday morning worship was a great time of welcoming our summer crowd back into the fold. Psalm 133:1 resounds with me, "How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!"

I couldn't get too far without talking about food. My dear love of food was not disappointed as the grill fired up and churned out delicious burgers and steaks. Combine that with a stop at the world-famous (or at least, should be world-famous) Leland Cheese Shanty and eating became more enjoyable. Psalm 63:3-5 gives me a glimpse of heaven through the feeling of satisfaction: "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you."

So yes, this weekend held great promise of everything I love about summer. The Psalms give me a language to express my gratitude and to remind me that these gifts, like all gifts, come from a loving God. Happy Summer!

Saturday, May 26, 2012

A Memorial Day Prayer

I am grateful for the self-sacrifice and service of our friends, family and neighbors who serve in the Armed Forces. I also pray to see the day described in Isaiah 2.

"This is what Isaiah son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem:

In the last days

the mountain of the Lord’s temple will be established
as the highest of the mountains;
it will be exalted above the hills,
and all nations will stream to it.

Many peoples will come and say,

“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
to the temple of the God of Jacob.
He will teach us his ways,
so that we may walk in his paths.”
The law will go out from Zion,
the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
He will judge between the nations
and will settle disputes for many peoples.
They will beat their swords into plowshares
and their spears into pruning hooks.
Nation will not take up sword against nation,
nor will they train for war anymore.

Come, descendants of Jacob,
let us walk in the light of the Lord."

Friday, May 25, 2012

What I Like About a Judge Pt. 2

As much as being labelled a judge is a scary thing, recognizing God as judge is even scarier. We project our image of judge/judgmental onto God and assume that God the judge is someone waiting to condemn us. But how does the Bible view God as judge?

God's salvation power is in God's "judge-ness." Revelation 19:1-2 says "“Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God, for true and just are his judgments." Revelation 19 celebrates the destruction of Babylon, the earthly capital of injustice, and the progression forward of God's kingdom of peace. That is a judgment I am happy for.

Continuing the theme, salvation from sin is often viewed as an obstruction of justice. "If we got what we deserve, we would be distanced from God forever..." or something like that is an oft-used statement in the line of reasoning of evangelicals nation-wide. And certainly, the inability of humankind to achieve salvation on our own merit is a good point. But 1 John 1:9 shows the aforementioned statement to be limited at best, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." It seems that God's system and God's "judge-ness" is rooted in forgiveness and grace. After all, God did set up the system of salvation. It would only stand to reason that God's justice would be rooted in God's character.

And therefore, God as judge doesn't provoke fear in me. In fact, like Abraham, it provokes faith. When God was ready to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham appeals to God the judge for mercy. Genesis 18:24-25: "Will you really sweep it away and not spare[e] the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing —to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?"

God as judge allows me to pray for justice. God as judge allows me to pray and be heard. And most importantly, God as judge assures me that salvation is irrevocable and that shalom will overcome.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

What I Like About a Judge, Part 1

Labels are scary and painful things. In today's culture, the label of "judge" is one of the scariest, especially for a people who are called to speak the truth (and witness to the Truth). Biblical prophets had no problems lifting up the injustices of the world, although they rarely pointed the finger at one person and said "you are to blame," but invited the people to reflect on themselves and their participation in injustice. Still, it's hard to know where the line between "judge not, lest you be judged" and speaking uncomfortable truth.

And here's the danger for pastors. We have the capacity to speak for 30 minutes at a time without interruption. In my tradition, preaching is a one-way flow of information and thoughts (which may have its own pitfalls...) and not necessarily a conversation. And so, despite my best efforts to bring in other voice, invariably you get uninterrupted Andy for 30 minutes. If I haven't thought of something, or if the Spirit moves in a 1 Corinthians kind of way, there isn't really space for that in my tradition's worship service. And therefore, whether this format still rings true or not, having those thirty minutes is an incredible responsibility. It's a powerful time; that is, I have a lot of power in those moments. The temptation to settle a personal dispute by addressing it with finality from the pulpit can be great. The temptation to simplify complex issues can be great.

And so when I watched, with horror, a video of a pastor suggesting a "Final Solution" for the LGBTQ community involving electric fences, I was shaken by the power of a person speaking. The crowd was riled up, "amening" the pastor's words. And then I realized, "I am a bad day away from committing the same verbal violence every week." I could be the next YouTube infamy (except that our services aren't video-recorded). So how do I (and you) keep from this kind of violence?

"Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." - Proverbs 15:22

What I like about judges is that you never talk to an individual judge. Every judge stands (or sits) with all that has gone before. Prior cases, the work of other judges, the work of the attorneys and the counsel of higher courts. True judges are not people who make arbitrary decisions based on emotions, but are careful and thoughtful learners who examine themselves and hear from other people. And it's in this learning community that we can have the capacity to speak without committing acts of spiritual violence. It's in the act of learning and discerning from the Spirit, the great teacher, that we can avoid emotional reactions and instead seek the peaceful way of God. May we all find ourselves here today.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Still boring.

This Wednesday morning started as most Wednesday mornings do- a 17 mile bike ride around Glen Lake. I love that ride. For a while, I am going up and the work is really hard. My gears are shifting rapidly in order to keep me moving forward. Then I go back down, and my gears are slamming again to take advantage of the easier pedaling in order to get some speed going. Then there are the flat spots, where I have to negotiate preparing for the next hill and pushing forward. It's a good ride, and one I hope to undertake as often as possible.

And it's never boring.

I'm still on the idea of boring, but it's a good subject to stay on. After all, if boredom is as dangerous as the last post states, we ought to hang out with boredom just a little longer.

I think that it can be very easy to develop and express a boring faith. A boring faith is one that has been sanitized and limited. In other words, boring faith only has meaning in experiences of happiness or anger. My faith is boring when I only recognize God while life is easy. My faith is boring when my response to the world is dictated by a continuum of happiness (when things go my way) and anger (when they don't). Look at Christians picketing. It looks boring to me. It's stale and predictable, and ultimately changes very little. But people who are picketing experience tremendous community because they are with people who share their emotions and thoughts. And so people who picket generally walk away with good feelings, even if little change is enacted.

The Psalms are the ultimate antidote to a boring faith directed by anger and happiness. The Psalms are an intersection with acute emotions (even murderous rage and near-suicidal depression) and thoughtful reflection of who God is. What happens in my boring moments is that I beat myself up until my emotions match my thoughtful reflection of who God is. It usually doesn't work. In full moments, I recognize that God intends to meet me in my emotional moments and even dares to absorb my emotions as I stand before God.

A full and rich faith holds all of me before all of God. A full and rich faith is standing before God when I am struggling, joyful, depressed, disinterested, excited about things I shouldn't be, focused, and everything in between. May we all have a rich and full faith today.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Boring.

Last night was the closing night for House, MD, my favorite TV show. Without spoiling the ending, House has to confront some deeply held convictions of his in order to stand by his friend who is dealing with cancer. One of those deeply held convictions is that life is not separated into right and wrong, but interesting and boring. Another of my favorite fictional characters holds the same conviction. For those who watch James Bond movies, the character is an action hero who seems to live every story as though the others didn't happen. However, the Ian Fleming character of James Bond is an expression of fear regarding boredom and apathy. James Bond (the novel character) constantly throws himself into missions, not for Queen and country, but out of fear of boredom. When he finally hunts down his arch-nemesis Blofeld, they have a conversation that looks like this:

"I will make a confession to you, Mister Bond. I have come to suffer from a certain lassitude of mind which I am determined to combat. This comes in part from being a unique genius who is alone in the world, without honour–worse, misunderstood. No doubt much of the root cause of this ‘accidie’ is physical–liver, kidneys, heart, the usual weak points of the middle-aged. But there has developed in me a certain mental lameness, a disinterest in humanity and its future, an utter boredom with the affairs of mankind." - Blofeld, "You Only Live Twice"

There seems to be an undercurrent of boredom that runs through the narrative of heroism. Consider the classic revenge story that creates the backdrop for so many heroes. Somebody does something wrong, the hero springs into action to fight against the oppressor, then... the movie ends. The movie ends because the hero's story post-revenge is boring. Their purpose for being is taken away by the act of revenge. In order for the hero's story to continue, a new villain must be introduced or the old villain has to return. For example, after crushing Blofeld's SPECTRE organization, the literary James Bond resigns because the greatest villain has been destroyed. There's nothing left worth fighting.

I turn to Jesus with the question of boredom. Why is it that we battle boredom and require increasingly dramatic distractions from the mundane life? What keeps returning is the quote from Jesus: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).

Life to the full. This is the gift of Christ. Life to the full seems to stand in the face of my own boredom. If I am bored, and Jesus offers life to the full, what is going on?

Typically, I find that I settle for far less than the gift of Christ. I trade in deep and abiding relationships for casual friendships. I trade in authenticity for a superficial image of what I want you to think I am. I trade in God's mission of reconciliation for a life of increasing convenience and consumption. When I have been most fully alive, it is typically because I have been pushed outside my limits and into a place where my life is focused on service. This is the way Christ showed us to live, and so I hope I can live this way each day.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Manifest Destiny... no, not that one...

I have fallen in love with a few words in my life. Some of them are in English, some not. Two of my favorite words in the English language are "Manifest" and "Authenticity." Today, I want to touch upon the word "manifest."

Manifest is an inside-out reality. You cannot manifest anything outside of who you truly are. You can copy behaviors, imitate role models and such, but you can only truly manifest what has happened within you.

Paul prays the Christ would be "formed" in the Galatian church (Galatians 4:19). What an amazing inner reality! The only other place that the phrase "is formed" is used in the Bible refers to the potter forming the clay and a child being formed in a mother's womb. Admittedly, I know next to nothing about the experience of a child formed in me, and so I rely on the experience of mothers everywhere to describe what it is like. But the experience of manifesting an inner reality is something everyone can relate to.

At my most anxious, I am the kid who desperately wants to be like, no matter what the cost. The inner dialogue is "You have to prove that you are worth something, that you are not a liability. After all, you don't want to disappoint someone..." And that voice gains a threshold and I manifest that. My joy is siphoned away, my actions are meant to minimize potential harm, I find patterns of escape. I manifest my inner story.

But what happens when Christ is formed in me? Then I begin to manifest Christ. My conversations become immediately more impactful in that I emotionally connect with the words I am saying and they are no longer words. I think that's what the prophets must have felt like when their words could build and destroy (Jeremiah 1:10). Words take on a certain power, they manifest truth. I feel the weight of glory, as Paul says and CS Lewis elaborates, I feel more alive.

I call this post "Manifest Destiny" because I believe eternity is going to be the constant experience of what I only taste now. I will feel that alive (moreso, probably) continually. I'm not sure how I am going to handle that. But for the moment, I enjoy the times when I manifest my eternal destiny today. When everything clicks and I am in that "alive" moment, I can feel Christ being formed. My prayers are different and my experience is different, and that anxious kid who desperately wants to make friends gives way to the friend of Christ who is created for purpose. May you manifest your destiny today.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The "No-Fly Zone"

A No-Fly zone has been instituted at Leelanau Coffee Roasting Company. More specifically, the staff has taken on a very daunting task- to dissuade a local robin from attacking its own reflection in the coffee shop's mirror. The robin showed up this morning to defend its nest or something and, if the pattern holds, it will start its aerial assault on the window soon. A sign labeled "no fly zone" will soon be hung up in order to prevent the robin from seeing its reflection.

Frankly, the whole thing is absurd. The robin attacks a pane of glass because it catches a fleeting glance of itself. And it attacks itself over and over again. I wonder if, at any point, the robin tires of smashing into an opponent it clearly won't defeat. I also wonder if the robin has wondered why its opponent always does the exact same thing it does. Stupid bird.

Oh wait. This is by far not just a bird-brained pattern. This is a human pattern as well. While you have likely never attacked a window (maybe you have), you have done something just as bad. Have you ever blamed your anger on someone else? Have you ever thought to yourself "My life would be so much better if (insert someone in your life) would change?" Have you ever actually believed the pundits who say it's all "their" fault? And if so... how does that work for you?

On my better ways, I join with Psalm 139:23 in saying "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." I acknowledge that my anxious thoughts, my anger, is my own. And since it is my own, I am the one who has the power to change it. Consider this monologue from the Academy Award-winning movie "Crash:"

"I am angry.
Yes! At them! Yes!
At them, the police,
at Rick, at Maria,
at the dry cleaners who destroyed
another blouse today,
at the gardener who keeps
overwatering the lawn.
I...
I just thought that...
Carol, I just thought that
I would wake up today
and I would feel better, you know?
But I was still mad.
And I realized...
I realized that it had nothing
to do with my car being stolen.
I wake up like this
every morning!
I am angry all the time,
and I don't know why..."

It is at this moment in the film when the character, Jean, realizes that the hatred in her heart has nothing to do with "them" and has everything to do with her. She has the power to change, and by the end of the film, takes steps toward reconciling with the housekeeper she treats horribly.

Yes, people do bad things and wrong us, and provoke our anger. And it's also true that I wonder if we are just attacking our own reflection in the window, all while thinking we are attacking "them." So I would like to issue a no-fly zone in my heart today. I would like to not be provoked to attack you because of my own baggage. After all, it's only going to hurt. Right, Mr. Robin?

Thursday, April 12, 2012

John 21:21-25 "Wrapping Things Up"

Peter is one of the most fully developed characters in the New Testament. His journey of growth and discovery is pretty well documented throughout the Gospels and into Acts. Even Paul, who offers us most of the New Testament text, doesn't have the journey that Peter does. And in this passage, we are given keen insight into where Peter has come and where Peter is going.

Jesus first asks Peter "Do you love me more than these?" Therein lies the strongest temptation to the disciples. They have always fought over who is the best, who is the fittest to lead, who loves Jesus most. If there is an opportunity to stand up for his faithfulness, now is the time.

But Peter has had a pretty big week. He recognizes the limits to his faithfulness, culminating in the denial of Jesus on Good Friday morning. He knows that his faith alone cannot carry him. So Peter's response is not "Of course I love you more than these," but "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." The competitive edge to be the "best" disciple is gone from Peter, replaced with a sense of humility that only comes from following Jesus Christ.

The second and third questions reinforce Peter's faith (although they are painful), giving Jesus the opportunity to encourage Peter.

And then comes the relapse- Peter questions the faith of another disciple, giving Jesus another opportunity to remind Peter that his job is to follow Jesus, not critique the followership of others.

This story here teaches me something about "getting there." Namely, I don't plan on "getting there" anytime soon. Also, I am already there. The journey of following Jesus isn't a move from darkness into light. Through the cross and resurrection, that's already happened. I am there. God's grace has a firm, unbreakable hold on me. I do not worry that God will reject me at the end of all things. The journey of following Jesus is about exploring this new land of the light and learning along the way. Yes, some of that lack of learning will have a significant impact on myself and others, and there is real impact for me to deal with along the way. That being said, there is also grace to sustain me as I clean up negative impact and try to learn forward into a new way of being, one that manifests Jesus, who did so much in this world that there aren't books enough to contain His works.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

John 21:1-14 "A Mighty Fine Fishing Trip"

Biblical scholars, pastors, authors and others have all scratched their heads over the significance of the 153 fish. You can click here for what some people think. Frankly, having been fishing before, it's pretty simple. If I caught 153 fish in one net, you would know that I caught 153 fish in one net. It's what fishermen do. Peter is, after all, a fisherman.

One thing that boggles my mind is how quickly Peter and the other disciple go back to their former lives. When Peter says "I am going out to fish," he isn't talking about a leisurely fishing trip. He's gone back and picked up the nets he left behind to follow Jesus. 153 fish won't feed the family, they'll sell at the market and feed the family. Even after meeting the resurrected Jesus, Peter's expectations for an earthly kingdom were so let down that seeing Jesus post-resurrection didn't motivate him back into followership.

It isn't until Jesus blows up Peter's expectations (again) by blessing his catch that Peter "snaps out of" his malaise and picks up his enthusiasm for Jesus once more. Enthusiasm, literally meaning "God is in it," is an important feature of following Jesus. Too often I fall for things that keep me less bored rather than be drawn to things I can be enthusiastic about.

And sometimes, out of the blue, God fills me with a great conversation or encourages me with a great moment of impact. And out of that moment, that movement of God, comes enthusiasm to press forward. And so on the days in which I feel tired, or feel like I don't have the motivation, I remember that it is God who provides those times. After all, isn't the resurrection one great object lesson that God provides?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

John 20:19-30 "A Resurrection Mission"

In Luke, you have to wait until the sequel (Acts) to get the giving of the Holy Spirit. In Matthew and Mark, the giving of the Holy Spirit doesn't show up. But in John, the Holy Spirit is given in the midst of the resurrection appearances. The effect is the same- the giving of the Holy Spirit is in direct relationship to mission.

Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven” (vss 21-23).

The Holy Spirit is crucial to mission. The Holy Spirit bears the fruit that does God's transformational work in our world. The Spirit reminds us of Jesus Christ and of our union with Him. The Spirit sends us to places we don't normally go (just as the Spirit pushed Jesus into the wilderness). We couldn't be involved in God's mission without the Holy Spirit. Without the Spirit, mission would just be us trying to work a human agenda, fraught with power corruption and the other issues present when human agendas get to work.

The first work of the Spirit, however, is to draw us toward God. In the case of Thomas, the Spirit caused Thomas to commit treason. At the time of the writing of John, the Roman Emperor demanded a title that could be bestowed on no one else- "Lord and God." When Thomas shouted out that Jesus is indeed Lord and God, he was laying down a pattern that God's mission and God's Spirit would often push us outside the range of "acceptable" behavior. The Spirit leads us take a prophetic stance, revealing the purposes of God even against the purposes of the powerful. And by the Spirit, we can be okay with doing that.

What becomes more terrifying to me is not that God would want me to take that kind of stance, but that I won't ever seize the opportunity before me. Today my prayer is that the Spirit will move through my (sometimes) thick skull to see all the possibilities before me.

Monday, April 9, 2012

John 20:1-18 "New Management Now"

This world is under new management now.

On the day before Easter, the rabbis taught that women were not credible witnesses to an event. On Easter morning, Jesus speaks Mary into new life and commissions her to be the first evangelist, modeling for generations of men and women who boldly proclaim "I have seen the Lord!"

The world is under new management now.

On the day before Easter, anyone who hung on a tree was considered cursed. On Easter morning, the One who died on a tree was declared blessed by God and blessed the world.

The world is under new managment now.

On the day before Easter, death had struck a blow against God that seemed to halt God's salvation plan. On Easter morning, death's power vaporized like dew before a sunrise. Life was triumphant.

The world is under new management now. Praise the Lord.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

The Crucifixion of Jesus

Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). Here they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle.
Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS. Many of the Jews read this sign, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and the sign was written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek. The chief priests of the Jews protested to Pilate, “Do not write ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews.”

Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.”

When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom.

“Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.”

This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled that said,

“They divided my clothes among them
and cast lots for my garment.”

So this is what the soldiers did.

Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.


Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
Now it was the day of Preparation, and the next day was to be a special Sabbath. Because the Jewish leaders did not want the bodies left on the crosses during the Sabbath, they asked Pilate to have the legs broken and the bodies taken down. The soldiers therefore came and broke the legs of the first man who had been crucified with Jesus, and then those of the other. But when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water. The man who saw it has given testimony, and his testimony is true. He knows that he tells the truth, and he testifies so that you also may believe. These things happened so that the scripture would be fulfilled: “Not one of his bones will be broken,” and, as another scripture says, “They will look on the one they have pierced.”


Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jewish leaders. With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.





Friday, April 6, 2012

John 19:1-30 "A Chief Priest's Lament"

What did I just say? "We have no king but Caesar?" How did we fall this far...? We have only one king, the LORD. It is the LORD who redeemed us, the LORD who gave us the Law, the Temple, the sacrifices. Why did I just say that I have no king but Caesar?

Oh yeah, God hasn't done much for me lately. Caesar has, but God hasn't. God's been letting us get beat up by every nation under the sky for the past five hundred years. First it was the Assyrians, then the Babylonians, the Persians, the Greeks, their kin, and finally now the Romans. Where's the deliverance in all that? I thought the prophets said that we would be restored and wouldn't be oppressed. No wonder we don't read those books. Full of empty promises.

I'm tired of working to no end to people who don't care with a God who won't reward me. I'm tired of people like Pilate mocking me and reminding me over and over again that I have no real power in this world. All I can do is ask him for permission before doing anything. I'm just plain tired.

And this is it. I know the Pharisees talk about heaven and being rewarded for all this, but I don't buy it. I think I'm being played. So why keep offering sacrifices? Why keep burning incense and saying prayers?

Frankly, the money's pretty good. I can hang out in the best of houses and I don't have to beg on the street. And if God's ever going to do anything about this, it will look pretty good to say I took care of the Temple until it happened.

I wonder if God's ever going to do anything about our situation. I feel so lost. I just hope that if God ever does appear, I don't miss it. Either way, I better get to the crucifixion. We finally got rid of this Jesus guy, now life can get back to normal.

- Taken from the diary of a chief priest at the time of Jesus

May we all have eyes to see God in God's appearance.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

John 18:28-40 "What is Truth?"

What is Truth, when my biases always get in the way?

What is Truth, when the facts are edited

revised

altered

packaged

spun for mass consumption?

What is Truth, when today's research will just be replaced by tomorrow's research?

What is Truth, when a criminal claims to be a king?

What is Truth, when you have to be weak to be strong?

What is Truth, when you have to be poor to be rich?

What is Truth, when you have to be less to become more?

What is Truth, when you have to die to live?

Maybe the Truth is standing in front of me.

Maybe the Truth is staring right at me.

Maybe the Truth wants to know me.

Maybe the Truth wants to be known

or loved.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

John 18:1-27 "I am he."

What power in those words! With those three little words, the arresting mob fall back and to the ground. With those words, Jesus could have stopped the arresting mob.

The follow-up words have equal power "I am not." Those were the words of Peter when asked if he was one of Jesus' followers. They were words of denial and rejection.

Words have power, undeniable power. Words help create reality and help give meaning to our world. Jesus' words, which describe the truth (vs 23), create a world of possibilities and hope. Even in the midst of Jesus' trial, where the priests are slapping Jesus around, Jesus continues a consistent testimony to the truth.

Today I wonder about my own words, and how much my words contribute to my life. Sometimes, my words give testimony to the truth. Sometimes, they give testimony to falsehood. Either way, they help build the world in which I live and shape the way people see me. And so today, I hope to speak the truth in order to bear witness to the Truth.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

John 17:1-26 "What Jesus prays about"

Let's be honest. There are some people you just want to hear their prayers. Their prayers disciple you, they help you grow, they shape you. I want to hear Jesus pray. In the Gospels, we are told that Jesus does pray and that Jesus teaches His disciples how to pray, but we don't get too many glimpses of Jesus' prayer. John 17 is a precious example of how Jesus prays. And His prayer shapes me.

It starts with the humble and the personal. Jesus prays for Jesus. That's not necessarily a prayer to imitate, but to enjoy. This is like listening in on a parent-child talk. Do you remember those? I remember several moments where I talked to my dad and it got serious for a couple moments. I could never predict them, but cherish all of them. I just sit and enjoy this talk. Part of the prayer is for completing the work, but the other part just screams to me "I can't wait to be home again." There is a prayer to enjoy.

Then there is the prayer for the disciples. This is a prayer to learn from. Jesus prays for the disciples and their continued growth. Jesus does not pray that the world would get easier for them, but that the disciples would grow in their capacity to handle it. It's similar to when I burst into the gym at the Leelanau School and announce "I do not ask that the weight would get lighter, I ask that my strength would become greater!" (Done in my best "preacher voice," much to the annoyance of the students) Jesus prays that I would grow. Cool.

Then Jesus prays for everyone. And Jesus prays that we would know what it's like to be united. Jesus essentially prays for us that we would know what it's like to be Jesus- united to God and to one another.

And that's what Jesus prays about. I wonder how we can find ourselves shaped by Jesus' prayer life today.

John 16:16-33 "A Time to Learn"

There is a light bulb in my office which occasionally waits to turn on until a few minutes after the others. I get a good chuckle out of it when I am having a meeting in my office and the light clicks on just as I am sharing a thought or idea. I would like to think that the light is timed perfectly to great ideas- a literal light bulb moment. What that doesn't explain is why it always comes on when someone else is talking...

Anyway, this is a light bulb moment for the disciples. The passage seems to end with the disciples finally "getting" Jesus. So far, they have stuck around because it seems right and they know Jesus is unique; now they are sticking with Jesus because they know what Christ is talking about. It seems a little odd that their light bulb moment is following an analogy to childbirth- an experience none of the 12 could relate to. But if God can talk through a donkey, I'll believe that a group of men can say "Oh, I get it, it's like childbirth!"

More to the point, there is something here that I can really connect to. Jesus doesn't sound any different than He did in chapter 15 or chapter 5. His words aren't changing. He's talking about love, revealing the Father, the world, peace, and other topics that have been covered. But the disciples are changing- the Spirit is starting to work.

In Deuteronomy 29, Moses tells the people of Israel that they weren't ready to hear what God wanted them to hear and that God would give them minds to understand. The same principle seems to be at work here in John.

Sometimes I think that I'm supposed to have it all figured out right now. I look to pastors who have been doing the pastor thing for decades and think "Why didn't I think of that?" There's a nagging voice in the back of my head that tells me "Every time you make a mistake, it's just proof that you are ________________." John 16 and Deuteronomy 29 speak against that voice- reminding me that for Christians, there is only learning and growth. Jesus went to the cross to deliver me from that voice and into a new creation.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

John 16:1-15 "Guided into all truth"

All truth. Anyone else comfortable with half-truths? I am exceptionally okay with half-truths sometimes. I believe we are conditioned toward half-truths. And it is easy to find proof for half-truths. After all, there is some truth in a half-truth. Just not all truth.

Sometimes, I am all-too-aware of my shortcomings. Fascinatingly, I can find plenty of proof to fuel the inner voice "You suck." In the past three days, I have had deeply encouraging conversations or messages from four different people. These are people who are lifting a truth that is better than my half-truth. And yet I cling to my half-truth. I say "If you only knew me, you would know the truth." Self-deception is a beast sometimes.

But what if? What if I am the one with the half-truth? What if people aren't lying to me when they encourage me? What if the whole truth is deeper than my own perceptions?

The full truth is that the inner "You suck" voice is a lie. After all, my identity is not formed by my behavior- it's not even formed by me (see previous posts). My identity is formed by the Spirit, who is guiding us toward all truth, ultimately the Truth who is Jesus. And grace tells me that my identity is based completely in the promise of God to seek and to save, to multiply and to bless, all because of the sake of Jesus.

Have you believed a half-truth? What is the full truth about who God is and who you are?

Friday, March 30, 2012

John 15:18-27 "Be hated or liked?"

Passages like these are hard ones for chronic people-pleasers like myself. The Bible seems to say, at multiple places in the Old and New Testaments, that following God is a one-way ticket to being disliked. Who woke up this morning saying "Please God, I want to be disliked," I mean, really?

Some faith traditions embrace being disliked. Particular fundamentalist movements enjoy being disliked by "the world," and take satire and mockery as signs they are on the right path. On the other side of things, other church movement embrace being liked out of Paul's admonition "As far as it is possible with you, be at peace with everyone." So who is right? Who is wrong? Should I want to be liked by people outside my faith tradition or not?

Neither. Jesus doesn't call on us to embrace being hated, Jesus encourages us if (key word in John 15:18) we are hated. Jesus doesn't call on us to embrace being liked, as the Lord only knows how many foolish decisions I have made in the race to become more liked. Jesus calls us to embrace the Spirit of Truth. At times, we will be disliked, especially as the Spirit drives us to mission, including the prophetic call to justice for the forgotten. No society likes to be reminded of what it has forgotten. Other times, embracing the Spirit of Truth will lead us into deeper love of neighbor that will increase the peace of our communities. It's hard not to like that.

I suppose, in short, I don't think I need to gauge my success in the Christian walk based on people's response to me, just on the wind of the Spirit blowing through my sails.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

John 15:1-7 "The Pruning of Jesus"

Jesus offers Himself to be pruned (John 15:2). In other words, Jesus takes our fruitfulness personally. That which is not bearing fruit is cut away, and that which does bear fruit is optimized by the words from Jesus' mouth (John 15:3).

What I love about this passage is how oddly warm it is. Despite talk of being thrown in the fire, I don't particularly feel scared by that prospect. Instead, I think of the idea of remaining and how transformative remaining could be.

When I was in college, my best friend was deployed to Iraq. And as soon as we got off the phone for the last time, I broke down. It couldn't handle it. This was the only friend of mine who was deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan. And I was a wreck. This was my best friend, a guy I've known since elementary school. My roommate did something I thought would be humiliating. He called my friends, and we met in the common area of my dorm. And I just sat there, as a wreck, knowing my best friend was boarding a plane to one of the more dangerous places in Iraq for several months. And they remained. They heard my absurdities, sat in silence, and watched me walk through that painful moment. And it wasn't even embarassing, not even a little. Despite my shame, which could have overwhelmed me, I remained. Despite the discomfort of sitting with a 19-year old sobbing, they remained. And I went through. I was being pruned in that moment- allowing all of my fears to be experessed through tears and the occasional pounded pillow cushion.

Jesus remains with us in our pruning. In fact, if we read the passage correctly, when I feel like I am being hacked to ribbon by shame and fear and whatever else is there, it's Jesus who is going through the process. It seems like Jesus doesn't just sit with me, Jesus bears the brunt of it for me. I don't know how that words, maybe that's the peace that passes understanding. All I know is that it makes a difference for me knowing that when I feel the pain, Jesus is going through the pruning.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

John 14:15-31 "My Part in the Story"

When I was in school, I wanted to be an actor. Something, however, kept me from auditioning. One year, our school did the musical Cinderella and I thought it would be a blast to participate. However, again, I didn't audition. But an opportunity came up for me to still be a part of the show. I was first chair trumpet in the school band, and they needed a trumpeter for the performance. And so I found my part to play in the story. While I was by no means a cast member, I still had fun.

Jesus, in John 14, is trying to prepare the disciples for the end of His earthly ministry and the beginning of theirs. And so Judas' question is an appropriate one. Judas wants to know why Jesus doesn't just reveal Himself to the world like Jesus did to them. Jesus' answer is a bit puzzling. Jesus doesn't answer the question directly.

However, Jesus does actually answer the question by challenging us. Jesus promises the Spirit to empower us to take up our part in the story. When Judas says "Why not tell everyone about you?" Jesus says "Because you will... but don't worry, I am sending the Spirit to give you everything you need to do it."

I love this vision of Christ and Christ's purpose. We have a part in the story! There is something for us to do other than wait for heaven!

And... our capacity to fulfill our part of the story is not the basis of our relationship with God. Christ's capacity to fulfill the part in front of Him is. Therefore I do not live out of fear, but out of hope.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

John 14:1-14 "Home Sweet Home"

Home is an interesting concept. I lived in the same house for 13 years of my life, and the next house for 5 years, then it was off to college where I lived in a different hall (or at least floor of a hall) every year, moved back home for the first two years of seminary and then moved into seminary housing for a year before moving to Northern Michigan. I spent three years in middle school, four in high school, three in college and three in seminary. I have been in my first church assignment for almost three years. While I certainly haven't moved around nearly as much as other people, a sense of permanence isn't exactly my thing.

You don't need a sense of permanence to know the joy of being "home." Whether it's the peace of coming home after a vacation, or the terror of seeing your home vandalized or burglarized, the emotional power of home is stirring. And, I believe, is part of how we were created.

Consider Cain and Abel. When Cain murders Abel, his fate is to wander the earth, finding nowhere to call home. Some who wander are able to find home wherever they go- but Cain's curse was that he wouldn't find a home anywhere because he poisoned the earth with his brother's blood.

We are a homeward bound people. Jesus speaks of this home when He speaks of God. And the good news is that this home is on the way. Revelation speaks clearly about the new city coming down onto a renewed earth to inaugurate the eternal kingdom. Leonard Sweet recently posted on facebook this quote "Remember that before Jesus is our way to God, that Jesus is God's way to us." Or something like that.

When Jesus talks about being the Way, the Truth and the Life, I think more and more that Jesus isn't offering us the path home. I think that when Jesus came to us, we are now at home.

Allow me to explain by a story. I moved to Glen Arbor, MI on June 1, 2009. Heather's job did not allow her to move up until June 5, 2009. And so on June 1, 2009, I lived in our house alone. I had no friends (although I made some that week in quick measure), no family, only my work and the still-brand-new relationships with Glen Lake Church. Needless to say, it was hard to feel like I was home. With Heather over a hundred miles away, it hardly felt like home at all. Here I was, ready to start this new adventure, excited about the possibilities of pastoral ministry with people and in an area I love, but yet I felt alone. It wasn't home until June 5, 2009, when Heather arrived. When she arrived, our house became home, and it seemed right.

Jesus has come. It's more like home, now.

Jesus will come again. It'll be a perfect home.

Come, Lord Jesus.