Self-differentiation is a term used to describe a process where we are controlled more and more by our values and less and less by the emotional states of people around us. Maturity is another word for this process. Jesus exemplifies differentiation perfectly, while not going overboard and becoming apathetic to the people around Him.
Jesus knows exactly who He called to please, and that's God. Jesus doesn't take cues from others' emotions and competing values, nor does He compromise those values. And yet, people who disagree with Jesus are drawn into further conversation. Jesus doesn't need to pretend to be someone different in order to be in relationship with them. Jesus just knows to be obedient to God and to live according to those values.
This allows Jesus to fluidly move from group to group and allows Jesus to be "always at work" (verse 17). Jesus enters as a healing presence not because He has to or because it would make people happy, but being a healing presence is who Jesus is.
I would love to live into my values like Christ did. I would also like my values to align with Christ's. In being a differentiated and mature Christian, I open myself to inflict less harm and to allow God's Spirit to work through me more. This requires much of me, but not necessarily more work. Jesus calls out the Pharisees in that their diligence is not leading htem toward life, but rather away from life. My work is to come time after time to Jesus, repenting of the harm I inflict on people and seeking life. Christ's work, through the Spirit, is to work out the fruit of the Spirit in my life so that I can become more like Jesus. That is the continued work of the Christian, now and always.
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